Grief is an inevident component of humanity and there isn’t any sugar-coating the ache that materializes with it. It doesn’t wait until you are prepared; it doesn’t wait until you are introspectively equipped. It’s proficient to hit unexpectedly out of the blue during a low point in your life, as it normally does. Life does hurt, but it is also a delicate, beauteous concept. It’s best to remember that you cannot experience the greatness of the highs without the lowest of the lows.
All happiness you thought you could ever have, any glom of control can evaporate in just one phone call.
Last month, I lost my grandmother. She had been ill and although it wasn’t unexpected, it wasn’t something that I expected to happen to my childhood role model. My first best friend, inherent from birth. I hold so much gratitude for the patience and humility she had with me. My grandmother sat through 27 rounds of homemade American Idol – each performance by mini-me, and my incessant, world crumbling doubts which in retrospect, were fruitless. She held no ounce of judgement when it came to my devotion to music and hardships. However, when it came to the color of my hair or the rips in my jeans, the judgment remained substantial. I will miss all of that.
I knew she loved me and I hope she knows she was loved by me.
These are the truths I have come to understand these last few weeks.
You Learn To See Perspective
It was difficult for me to fathom anything past the internal sadness I was feeling. I was penny-pitching for the benevolence of others to assure me that every little thing was going to come out peachy when I wasn’t sure of myself.
Insignificant things were torrenting my mind when in reality, the minuscule things you sweat about day in and day out essentially are meaningless looking at them beyond the microscope. Perhaps you’ve consumed too much time on your work or on school. Take the grieving process as a time to refocus your priorities. Are you living how you want to be?
Focus on YOU and your self-care. You are significant. You are important.
Life Will Always Be Short, No Matter How Long You Live
There’s a reason why the saying “Life is Short” is cliche. It’s true. Live your life to the fullest, the way you want it, and be true to yourself. Don’t dwell on the promotion you didn’t receive, the grade you didn’t pocket, the discontinuation of your favorite coping ice cream. It’s. Not. Worth. It. I’m going to leave this with wise words from Abe Lincoln, “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years.”
Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds
Hearts never comprehensively mend their heartbreak to the fullest. They scar, they become robust, they endure. Getting “over” a loved one is not a healthy, idealistic perception, and truth be told, it’s best to reminisce and welcome the feelings memories will produce. The intangibility is what keeps memories alive. Although your loved one will no longer physically be with you, their presence lives on within you and nothing will ever diminish that.
Visit while you can, take every phone call, be alert. Cherish the times you can spend with your loved ones.
You Are Stronger Than You Know
Your own strength will surprise you. You don’t realize the strength that lives inside of you until you need it. Life will always bring adversity, but with each passing one, you learn more about yourself than you thought was feasible.
This too shall pass. Grieving takes time and it will hurt. But it is within these times that we learn life’s greatest lessons and understand our strength.
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